Elladan's Guilt
by Manwathiel Melda
Summary: Why is Elladan so protective over his little brother? Why does he feel guilty? A short story


Elladan's Fear By Manwathiel

_Elladan's POV_

_A short story of why Elladan is so protective over Estel._

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* * *

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Elladan and Elrohir watched as their efforts to save their good friend failed. It was late at night, and they were at a campsite they had set up after the injury.

"Elladan, he is dead," Elrohir told his brother, choking on his tears. Elladan looked at his brother, then at their friend. He nodded.

"I know," was all the older twin could say. "I wish Ada had been here. He would have known how to save Arathorn." He looked at the ground, tears filling his grey eyes.

"We should tell Ada soon," Elrohir said. Elladan nodded again. He could not speak.

"I know," he repeated after a few minutes. "I wonder if Ada will be disappointed."

"Why, Elladan?"

"Because. We failed to save him."

"Oh. I don't think he'll be mad. I think he'll forgive us. I mean, we did try, El," his brother replied.

"I know. It just doesn't seem like enough. Like we could have done more," Elladan said.

"We did everything we could. Don't feel bad. We tried our best," Elrohir answered. Elladan put his face in his hands and wept. Wept for a dear friend, over his failure, and grief for the man's small family. Then he felt his twin's arms around his body. "'Dan, don't cry like this. Please don't die, Elladan. Ada will be very sad." Elrohir paused, as if thinking. "And so would Ammë," he whispered.

Elladan looked up. "Ro, I just wish there was something else we could do. I mean, all I can think of is to bury him and go tell Ada. Isn't there anything else?"

"Elladan, we've done everything we can to help him. Let's go home and tell Ada; he'll know what to do," Elrohir replied. Elladan nodded.

"Okay," he said in a shaky voice. "But it doesn't feel right just leaving him here alone. Do you want to go and bring Ada back with you? It's not that far."

"Are you sure? I mean, will you be okay alone here? I don't want to leave you if you won't. I'd rather leave his body here, and bring you with me." Elladan nodded.

"I'll be fine here," he replied. "Although," he paused, "maybe I'll come with you. I don't want to be alone right now." He grinned sheepishly at his brother.

"Alright then. Let's go home," Elrohir said.

* * *

As the two young elves journeyed home, they rarely spoke to each other. Each was deep in his own thoughts. Elladan still wept silently. He did not want his brother to know how intense his grief was. It was too horrible. All he could think about was how terrible it had been to see Arathorn pierced in the eye with the arrow. And now he could only think about young Aragorn, only two years of age, who was now fatherless. It was too much to handle. And the little human would never know his father.

"Aragorn," he whispered. Who would tell his mother?

"Elladan? What is it? What's wrong now?" his brother asked.

"I was just thinking about Aragorn, you know, Arathorn's two-year-old son," Elladan replied. "What will happen to him now that this has happened?"

"You've got to stop blaming yourself for what happened, 'Dan. Please. It's not good for you. I know it's hard, but we must take care of it. We have to deal with it," Elrohir said. He had not needed to finish the sentence; they both knew what he was going to say.

"Unlike Ammë?" Elladan asked quietly. Elrohir nodded. A few years after their mother's departure, the two boys made a promise not to talk about it until they were both ready. And up until now, neither one had been ready to talk about finding their mother in the hands of the foul orcs. Elladan shivered, remembering what it had been like. Before he could dwell on the past for too long, his brother reached out and gently touched his arm.

"'Dan? It's almost dark. And we're almost home," Elrohir said softly.

Home. The Last Homely House was what his father called it. Elladan sighed. What would they tell Elrond?

* * *

It was extremely late at night when the twins arrived in Rivendell. Elladan knew his father was not surprised to see only the two of them, without Arathorn. Luckily, they did not have to tell the Elven Lord much; he had felt it in his heart. Elladan knew his father could feel their pain, for Arathorn had been a great friend.

"Ada? What must we do with Aragorn?" Elladan asked, finally voicing his questions.

"We, Elladan?" Elrond raised one eyebrow.

"Yeah, Ada. I feel somewhat responsible for him. He's only two," Elladan replied.

"I see. I will think about it, Elladan," Elrond replied with a sigh.

* * *

About a month later, a young woman came to Rivendell late one evening, bringing with her, her young son. Elladan watched as the human woman talked urgently to his father. His father had Glorfindel show the woman to a room; then he picked up the little boy and muttered something Elladan could not catch. Then Elrond carried the human child to a room.

"Who was that, 'Dan?" His twin brother's voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

"I don't know, Ro. I was just going to ask Ada," Elladan replied. He walked over to his father as the older elf came out of the guest room.

"Who was that, Ada?" Elladan asked.

"Aragorn. Or Estel, as I have named him," Elrond replied. "And the woman was his mother, Gilraen. Arathorn's wife. She could not care for their son alone, so she had brought him to me. I will mentor and teach the boy."

* * *

"Legolas! What a pleasant surprise!" Elrohir called as their friend leaped off his horse.

"Mae govannen, Elladan and Elrohir!" came the wood elf's joyous reply.

"I have grave news for you, my friend," Elladan said quietly.

"What? Has something happened?"

"Yes. Arathorn died last month. I would have come to visit and tell you, but Ada would not let me," Elladan replied softly.

"That's a pity. He was always so kind," Legolas murmured.

"And now his two-year-old son is living here!" Elrohir added, bouncing with happiness.

"Boy, I need to talk to you," came the voice Elladan knew too well. "Legolas, you too. No," Elrond laughed as he saw their faces, "no, you are not in trouble. I need to talk to you about Aragorn."

"What about him, Ada?" Elrohir asked.

"Well, I do not want him to know about his true heritage, for I know Sauron is looking for the heir of Isildur, if any lives. He will be called Estel," Elrond said.

Elladan thought the name 'Estel,' or 'hope' when translated, was strange. And he could tell his brother and Legolas thought the same.

"Why 'hope,' Ada?" Elladan asked.

"Because that is what he is. Hope to Men, hope to Middle Earth, and hope to us, in Rivendell," Elrond replied, his eyes gazing off into the distance.

Elladan immediately knew what his father was thinking about. Celebrían. He nodded. "If he is hope for you, Ada, he is hope for us too," he said, glancing at his twin brother. Elrohir nodded.

"Yes," Elrohir added.

"All of you must promise not to tell him of his true lineage, until I deem him ready," Elrond said. All three of the younger elves promised to do so.

* * *

Epilogue:

Elladan always felt responsible for Estel, especially when the human was young. He somehow felt that by keeping the boy safe, he could make up for what happened to Arathorn. And especially when Estel was young and teased by the elflings, Elladan felt extremely accountable for this.


End file.
